Vote for Melissa!!!

My New Job!

So as many of you know, I have quit the horrible life of a saleswoman at Digis and have moved on to bigger and better things. Job interview after job interview went by and I broke many companies hearts by denying them my services. I could only work for the best and they just didn't have what it took. Days, weeks, weeks and a half went by, and still no luck....

Then, it happened. I got the phone call. "Melissa, would you please come in and interview with us here at _________".

"Hellllllzzzzzzz yah," I replied.

So I interviewed, they loved me, I loved them, we laughed, we cried, we toasted to good life and great weather.

I started right away and I have found much joy in my new found career.

My job title: PROFESSIONAL TANNING BED OPERATOR EXTRAORDINAIRE
Yes thats right people, I hold the power of the sun.

So come on in and achieve your dream. Thelma comes in everyday, and I am proud to say that I am apart of this beautiful process.

Are you ready for some FOOTBALL

It's that time of year again where football enslaves me. Every day I have to check the status of all my players and see how their practice went, if any of them are injured and see if any of them gave me a shout out in one of their press conferences.

You see, I have an alternative, no let's call it a "backup religion" that I am faithful to for about 7 months that is called, "The Second Holy Order of the Pigskin Euphoria," or more modernly referred to as Fantasy Football.

For years Tiki "Torch" Barber and "The Bulge," Marc Bulger, carried me away to fantasy football bliss. Where touchdown dances and screams of delight were often heard echoing from the chambers of my heart (as well as the chambers of my apartment complexes.)

The "torch" has since retired and is doing the today show or some crap like that, and the bulge got hurt pretty bad last year so they are will no longer be hoisting me up to heavenly heights, instead I will now fly on the wings of "Flyin" Brian Westbrook and the terrific tandem of Derek "I ain't nobody's Ho" Anderson and Braylon "You know what I'm sayin'" Edwards.

This team could be the next fantasy football hall of fame team for the books (I keep little books in my office). There will likely be more said on this matter forthwith, but for now I must go and practice my "Happy Dances" that will make the earth shake and the cherubs cheer!